This might be a crazy notion, but I feel that any day I’m alive is a good day. I’ve had many bad days in my life, but they’re still good; I’m still alive. Today was an average day overall, but it stands out as an exceptionally good day because of the promise of tomorrow. Staying…
Read moreHome security like @ADTstaysafe might be awesome, but you need a security package for a bad #girlfriend who just won’t leave.
I turn the lights on. “Who’s down there?” I yell from the top floor of my house. I hear movement, but nobody says anything back, so I move quickly down the stairs to the middle floor. My heart is beating fast, at least twice its normal speed. I frantically start turning the lights on, one…
Read more@LeeHirsch and my 5-year-old know that #Bullying is bad
Seeing my 5-year-old on the playground has been an amazing experience for me. Usually, the popular girl is the worst bully in the school. That popular girl bully might not hit, but she will always choose who is good enough and who isn’t. She will make others crumble to her social pressure. My 5-year-old is…
Read moreThe only thing better than a second term with @BarackObama is the love of a good #woman.
I go to class, you know, English class, in the basement of the C building. It’s the really old-looking building with all the silverfish in the lockers. I’m glad to get away from my girlfriend; her name is Menteuse. She’s French. We practically live together. She’s all into math and science, and I take history,…
Read moreI give really biased reviews about #plays my nephew is in because he is the best actor ever. Take that @tomhanks
I watched Mary’s wedding recently. It was amazing. If you live around the Ottawa area, you need to go see this play. The actors are amazing, and the play is awesome. All right, in fairness, I have to disclose that my (hugely talented) nephew is in the play. The entire audience was crying, even the…
Read moreChanging #careers when you have a wife and kids is like juggling flaming swords while on a high wire . . . one wrong move . . .
It was another day at the office today, as cliche as that sounds. I’m having difficulty just finding volunteer writing jobs. I do have some writing experience, and I graduated from university with an English degree, yet I’m somehow still working in a web development job, even though I never studied it. I’m even a…
Read moreIf there is nothing worthwhile to be gained by fighting, #forgiveness is the only thing that makes sense.
“He’s in there Ryan. He doesn’t say much though, but go ahead in.” “Right, well, uh, thank you.” I walk into a sterile smelling room with a bed, a TV, and an old man who I don’t recognize. “Hey Dad.” He says nothing in return, not even moving his head to look at me. “I…
Read moreEveryone #lies to each other. Except for me. I won’t lie to people, but everyone else on the planet will, including you.
Ding dong. The doorbell. I do that thing where you put your hand up to your mouth, breathe out a big gust of warm air and try to smell fast enough to make sure your breath isn’t bad. I can’t really smell anything, but it doesn’t ever really work anyway. A quick hair check. Right,…
Read moreRetail #Christmas is being pimped already; I expected Santa to pull out his red nosed reindeer and shoot a big load of snow in my face.
I love Christmas, and even though I’m not religious, I still enjoy the feasts, the tree, and spending time with family. I don’t like how Christmas seems to begin the day after Halloween. Stores, lined wall to wall with Christmas crap, try to get a ton of people to start their Christmas shopping. Christmas is…
Read moreLust brings 15 minutes of intense joy. #Love brings a lifetime of calm, deeply rooted, happiness.
I see so much attraction between people, even though it “should not” be there. My wife likes a close female friend of ours. That close female friend used to like me, and I used to like to her. There is another woman who I sometimes work with; I have recently developed an intense attraction to…
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