I go to class, you know, English class, in the basement of the C building. It’s the really old-looking building with all the silverfish in the lockers. I’m glad to get away from my girlfriend; her name is Menteuse. She’s French. We practically live together. She’s all into math and science, and I take history,…
Read moreI give really biased reviews about #plays my nephew is in because he is the best actor ever. Take that @tomhanks
I watched Mary’s wedding recently. It was amazing. If you live around the Ottawa area, you need to go see this play. The actors are amazing, and the play is awesome. All right, in fairness, I have to disclose that my (hugely talented) nephew is in the play. The entire audience was crying, even the…
Read moreChanging #careers when you have a wife and kids is like juggling flaming swords while on a high wire . . . one wrong move . . .
It was another day at the office today, as cliche as that sounds. I’m having difficulty just finding volunteer writing jobs. I do have some writing experience, and I graduated from university with an English degree, yet I’m somehow still working in a web development job, even though I never studied it. I’m even a…
Read moreIf there is nothing worthwhile to be gained by fighting, #forgiveness is the only thing that makes sense.
“He’s in there Ryan. He doesn’t say much though, but go ahead in.” “Right, well, uh, thank you.” I walk into a sterile smelling room with a bed, a TV, and an old man who I don’t recognize. “Hey Dad.” He says nothing in return, not even moving his head to look at me. “I…
Read moreGreat, you found your muse. Now, before you go and write 10,000 more incoherent and in-cohesive sentences, stop, #edit, and #read.
I spoke about getting your muse on in an early post, but what happens if the writing ideas are flowing like a faucet? Is it cool to take up your days and nights with unlimited, unleashed writing. My thought on this is no. There are a few times when I will have, what seems like,…
Read moreEveryone #lies to each other. Except for me. I won’t lie to people, but everyone else on the planet will, including you.
Ding dong. The doorbell. I do that thing where you put your hand up to your mouth, breathe out a big gust of warm air and try to smell fast enough to make sure your breath isn’t bad. I can’t really smell anything, but it doesn’t ever really work anyway. A quick hair check. Right,…
Read moreRetail #Christmas is being pimped already; I expected Santa to pull out his red nosed reindeer and shoot a big load of snow in my face.
I love Christmas, and even though I’m not religious, I still enjoy the feasts, the tree, and spending time with family. I don’t like how Christmas seems to begin the day after Halloween. Stores, lined wall to wall with Christmas crap, try to get a ton of people to start their Christmas shopping. Christmas is…
Read moreLust brings 15 minutes of intense joy. #Love brings a lifetime of calm, deeply rooted, happiness.
I see so much attraction between people, even though it “should not” be there. My wife likes a close female friend of ours. That close female friend used to like me, and I used to like to her. There is another woman who I sometimes work with; I have recently developed an intense attraction to…
Read moreTake a Picture it Lies Longer
I was listening to the radio on my way home from work the other day. I know it’s crazy not to listen to music that I spent hours selecting and illegally downloading off the internet, but sometimes I like to listen to news or talk. On this station, they were discussing the idea of documenting…
Read moreAccepting Today
Ring . . . ring . . . ring. “Hello?” “Hello, my name is Emily, and I’m calling from Empire Credit Card. Is Ryan home today?” “Yes. I’m Ryan.” “Hello Ryan. How are you today?” “I’m feeling a little melancholy for no particular reason. This is fairly common though. I’m also a tad bit peckish,…
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