I wake up, and for a brief moment, I feel nothing, see nothing, and hear nothing. My eyes are closed, and I feel like I’m surrounded by softness. I’m in that brief moment, where you don’t even know if you have to urinate or not, where you think you’re awake, but you’re not entirely awake. I take a moment to imagine my best female friend laying here with me. She’s the one where there was never really anything between us, but we always look at each other knowingly, as if to say I would, and I would too, if we weren’t already in love with someone else, if we weren’t married, if we didn’t have kids, and if we weren’t such good friends. I imagine her small hands moving from my chest, slowly down to my abdomen, while she kisses my neck, kisses my lips, looks deep into my eyes, and grabs me. I imagine her rubbing fist fulls of dirt all over her chest, and interlaced in the dirt there are worms and small sticks.
What the actual fuck is going on? I smell dirt. Why dirt? I open my eyes, and look up to see trees, fucking trees everywhere. I’m wearing clothes, no sleeping bag, no blankets. I’m not lying on dirt. I’m lying in dirt. My eyes refocus, I’m not buried, but I’m lying in what looks like a shallow grave, maybe 3 feet deep. I stand up and look around, nothing looks familiar. I see nothing but trees. There are no buildings, no houses, no roads, just mother fucking trees as far as I can see.
I check my pockets. I have my wallet, but I have no car keys, and I have no phone. My credit cards, debit card, and driver’s license are all on me.